Monday, February 1, 2010

The Jetpack

I'm SERIOUSLY tired of lugging all of Jet's crap around every time we go for a walk. Let me clear up any obviously forseeable confusion: not his excrement, but his accoutrement!

3 pairs of sunglasses, ten designer dog poop baggies (grocery or sandwich bags apparently aren't good enough to transport Jet's "gold" nuggets), his cell phone, any one of the Harry Potter books (depending on his mood. Good moods require the first couple of books, bad days = the last 2), and of course a liter of Fiji bottled water. Jet is one of those nuts who thinks that expensive items with fancy packaging and trendy reputations are inherently better. I fill the bottle with tap when he isn't looking, and he can't tell the difference. BIG SURPRISE.

So anyway, I decided it was high time Jet started carrying his own junk. The poor thing lacks opposable thumbs, so I got to brainstorming... I needed to invent a carrying device that didn't require hands. After much deliberation, I devised a cloth container that could be carried via two straps slung over the shoulders and under the armpits!

At first, I thought of calling this device a "backpack" but the name was far too bland. A friend suggested calling it a "JETPACK" and I dismissed the idea outright, then laughed for a few minutes straight. A short time after, it hit me! I should call it a "JETPACK!" Pure genius.

Here is Jet modeling his fancy new JETPACK. The second picture reveals Jet's Achille's heel: the chest scratch. It renders him completely immobile, a condition that I've termed "paralysis."

Man, I'm really good at making up words for things.

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