Thursday, December 31, 2009

The beast wakes...

As we all know, on certain days Jet transforms when the sun sets. From mild mannered, self described "actor" to the vicious folk beast known as El Chupacabra. Pictured here is the white devil waking from a weeks-long slumber, stalking the hills overlooking Hollywood - ready to devour club girl, hipster, and coffee-bearing production assistant alike. El Chupacabra returns, no one is safe!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

El Chupacabra after his nap

El Chupacabra must enter a restful state after a sanguine meal. However grumpy, he is somewhat docile and tolerates photography when he wakes.

However, since El Chupacabra started sucking veggies instead of goats, the time spent napping has gradually increased! It seems that he has less and less energy as time goes by. He insists that his vegetarianism is working out exactly as he wants it to.

Sometimes, people (and even Chupacabras) are so stubborn that they won't admit things aren't working out the way they predicted, even at their detriment.

I plead to all of you, learn by Jet's example! Be honest with yourselves, and when you've finally grown weak enough from eating grass that grows in the backyard, take a local farmer's goat under cover of darkness and drink its sweet oxygen-rich blood. You'll thank me when you do.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Simple post, busy day. As we all know, Jet rarely barks but will woo at you all day long.

This is Jet in his classic wooing position: rump high in the air, forepaws low to the ground, and look of intense disapproval on his face.

Could also be gas. Jet unleashes virulent biological weapons from time to time.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Jet keeps his word

When Jet caught me taking bets on how long it would take for him to break his vow of being a vegetarian, he was outraged. I could tell it was the worst kind of anger because he just blinked at me a couple of times and walked away.

But so far, Jet actually has been eating nothing but cute baby vegetables, seeds (which are BABY plants, baby killer!), and fruit. This is the longest phase he's ever gone through. I thought Harry Potter was a phase for sure, but Jet is a fan for life.

I'll have to up the ante and eat a steak in front of him every day when serving him his steamed nonsense.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Baby Stinkpot

Ok, so this is clearly not a Jet related post, but these baby turtles are the best things ever. They give Jet a run for his money when it comes to cuteness.

I recently got 2 common musk turtle hatchlings, also called stinkpots. Sternotherus odoratus.

At some point when I have money I want to have a nice turtle aquarium. These don't get too big so the setup wouldn't have to be obscene. I have a decent tank for now. Unfortunately, one of them didn't make it. The surviving turtle has a wider shell. I'm not sure if the one that died was underdeveloped or simply less robust. Also could have been due to pneumonia, other illness, or who knows what else. I was heart broken when I found him on the bottom of the tank though. Rest in peace, sweet Hobart.

Nacho, the survivor, is doing great. Here's a picture of him. I say "him" but I'm honestly not sure what sex him is. When he grows a bit his shell should give it away.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Jet goes "green"

Jet watched a National Geographic special about lions and their prey. Being the empathetic creature that he is, Jet was horrified at scenes of violence in nature.

Being the sadistic creature that I am, I could not resist mentioning the ingredients in the dog food he so readily wolfs down: baby bunnies.

Jet has since become an avowed vegetarian, never again to consume a cute baby animal for sustenance, lest he be exiled from his own domain forever.

One sec, I'm gonna go grab his suitcase for him.


Jet is quite tired of my excuses. After reassuring him that I'd devote more attention to his blog, things have been noticeably sparse. Disappointing. Unforgivable, according to Jet.

He's already gone on every kind of strike he can think of, and failing at each. The hunger strike was a particularly temporary affair.

Plus, after I made comments about the perks a diet would provide his figure, Jet gave me the most cold blooded glare I've ever seen in my life. He waited a full minute before disclosing that if things didn't improve, bloody revolution was on his mind!

Fortunately, like anything else on his mind, a full minute is more or less the longest he'll remember what he's so mad about.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Dirty Jobs: Chupacabra Washing

Chupacabra's goat sucking career has been pathetic lately. It's the smell, you see. Rolling around in dirt all day and soiling yourself due to a broken tail and a piddling problem can lead to some award winning odors. TRUST ME.

I decided to give El vicious beast a hand, and as is typical, he shows zero appreciation.

I bet he wanted a perm, the little princess. At least I didn't lose any fingers in the process. Look at those teef!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

The Great White Ninja

After a movie marathon first beginning with Beverly Hills Ninja, and followed by American Ninja (please read the synopsis, it will make your life), Jet was naturally inspired to take to the shadows and try some ninjutsu on me.

Unfortunately, Jet didn't realize that being the "Great White Ninja" had its drawbacks, including the fact that he stuck out worse than he usually does.

He was surprisingly accurate throwing shuriken with his mouth, though. I have layers of bandages on my rear to prove it.

I'll have my revenge, ninja!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Jet fresh from his lobotomy

I've tried everything with this dog, but nothing seemed to cure his piddling problem.

So the other day I decided to get Jet a lobotomy, and it's great! Now he just lays around all day drooling and twitching. No walking, no wooing, no problem! He sits completely still and lets me comb him, wash him, and tickle him for my own amusement.

My only regret is that I waited this long to lop off a lobe. I recommend lobotomies for all your troubles. There are coupons in this week's Penny Saver, to boot.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Jet is angry!

Jet is furious at me for neglecting his blog as of late. You wouldn't know it by looking at him, but he's become quite the prima donna.

I explained that I had a busy week, and wasted relatively little of my time for a change. I even volunteered. This pushed Jet over the edge, as I apparently had time to give away for free but none to promote his majesty.

We're on speaking terms once again, but conversations are brief and superficial. I expect we'll be the best of pals sooner or later, but it's best to leave him alone when he gets like this.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Slow down, Jet

As I'm 100% sure you've noticed, there's been a lull in the posting of content on Jet's blog. I've been ridiculously busy with school and things and haven' t had a chance to post. Had a particularly painful bout of tests but now that they're over I can take a little breather. I doubt I'll be posting 2 or 3 times a day like I once did, but I'm going to try and have at least one post a day.

Thanks for tuning in.

Monday, September 14, 2009

All dolled up and nowhere to woo...

What? Oh please, like you don't like to parade around in women's clothing when nobody's watching. I bet.

This is a cell phone picture, hence the bad quality.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

And that's when the monster jumped out of the bushes!

Jet's ghost stories usually end up spooking him more than anyone else. He once told a story about a mummy cat and had to sleep with the lights on for a week.

Into the tummy of the beast

He kind of looks like an old person without their dentures in. I had to mash his corn for him too.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Scratchy scratch

After paying a visit to a magic shop, Jet discovers that you're not supposed to use itching powder on yourself.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

I forgot what it's like... on the outside.

Chupacabra Sightings

These startling photographs were taken earlier today. As you can plainly see, El Chupacabra is on the loose. If you happen to see El Chupacabra, don't panic! He likes to be scratched under his chin. It will pacify him instantly. But the second you stop, prepare to have your goat sucked, as El Chupacabra shows no mercy.

Lucky Jet's Feet

I've had multiple offers for Jet's feet, but I have refused them all. Just because his paws look like giant lucky rabbit's feet doesn't mean I'm going to sell a part of Jet for profit. No, because I'm going to use them myself! Now where's that pup run off to...

Monday, September 7, 2009

Jet's Nose: A Study Of

Here's an up close and personal portrait of Jet's sniffer. I believe there's even a little piece of ash above his nostril. We've had some wicked fires in Southern California the past couple of weeks. Been dreadfully hot and muggy.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Smooth Operator

Jet is like Wolverine, in a way. He's the best he is at what he does. Luckily, looking cute is what he does. Healing factor would have been cool. Or an adamantium skeleton. Or claws. Or a badass attitude.

I wish Jet were more like Wolverine, come to think of it.

Baby Puppy.

Here's Jet snoozing away with the only toy he's ever shown even a mild interest in: Baby Puppy. If we're being proper, it's actually Baby Puppy II; the original Baby Puppy was thrown away after moving out of my apartment. He never showed any interest in Baby Puppy, even when I pretended to love Baby Puppy more than Jet. I guess Jet knows a sucker when he sees one.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Jet finds out what camera smells like

Pardon the blur; it's a bit hard to focus on Jet when he unexpectedly lunges forward. Never to bite though, always to sniff and lick (sometimes in awkward places, so be careful.)

It was that shifty-eyed dog!

I always knew he was up to no good, that Jet!

Jet is definitely not allowed to sit on people furniture. I made the mistake of allowing him on this chair for a little photo session. This made the little devil quite brazen (or confused, I guess) enough to think he had license to sit on it any time he wanted! It wasn't hard to set him straight though; 3 days in the hole would do that to anyone. I mean - er - a stern finger shaking. Yeah...

A Small Challenge

Summers in Southern California are extremely hot and dry. Due to his unfortunate penchànt for piddling we are unable to keep him indoors, so I do whatever I can to help him cool off.

Ice cubes may seem simple, but to Jet they're a veritable Rubik's Cube. He lacks opposable thumbs, you see, so he's forced to pick them up with his jaws (or try to, anyway... and fail). When that doesn't work, Jet has to flex that brain of his (or get extremely lucky) and push the cube against a solid object so he can go to town.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Good pup.

Just rewarding good behavior. I like to pretend it happens less often than it actually does.

Vintage Jet: Hangover

Jet after a particularly debaucherous evening over a year ago. Hell, let's make it July 5, 2008, one day after his birthday and coincidental national holiday, Independence Day.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Jet and his pet human

If you think about it, who's really the sucker in this relationship? Jet has to occasionally listen to me, behave within a fairly wide spectrum, and be as cute as possible.

I'm responsible for feeding him, grooming him, being his friend, taking care of his medical hoobajoob, and the monetary cost of all those things combined and whatever I've left out. I have to be careful with Jet, behaving within a much narrower spectrum (being firm but not mean, friendly but not a pushover).

At the end of the day (and throughout it as well) it's worth it. I can never stress enough how good of a dog Jet is at his core. His edges are extremely rough but despite any claims I've made I wouldn't trade him for anything EXCEPT for the puppy version of himself. I would love to get a crack at raising him from day 1 and potentially erasing all the abuse he's suffered and the subsequent psychological problems it's left him with but... that isn't reality. Unfortunately, dogs are just like people that way. Sometimes those problems linger for a lifetime.

I haven't felt compelled to include myself in any of the pictures thus far, but this was a really good shoot with the two of us so I couldn't help myself. They were taken in early July in Griffith Park, at a little picnic area near the Griffith Observatory.

Quit being such a crybaby, Jet!

Huskies are notorious crybabies; yelping and yipping for any reason whatsoever. Jet is obviously no exception to this rule. I'd say in this one area he goes above and beyond what you could expect from a regular husky. It's not that they have heightened nervous systems and feel more pain or anything like that; I choose to believe that Jet overreacts.

Getting combed, getting wet, getting pinched, being startled... all great reasons for Jet to cry. Perhaps mammals are hardwired to react to what we consider the sound of crying (or maybe it's just us humans), but the sound of Jet crying is nearly heartbreaking. I have to force myself to keep combing or whatever because after the initial yelp Jet is prone to sitting there and taking it, showing me that he's really just crying wolf.

Ok then, Jet. Maybe next time a wolf is eating food out of your bowl and you cry about it I won't come running.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Vintage Jet: Pacified Chupacabra

Everyone knows that if you want to keep El Chupacabra under control, you cover his feet with socks. This way he can't scratch you... or walk on a smooth surface. It's win-win!

The creature wasn't pleased, however. He couldn't quite figure out how to get the socks off, and he was only willing to invest a small amount of energy toward the endeavor in the first place.

As I've said before, Jet er... El Chupacabra is more of a lover than a fighter. Hmm, perhaps more of a nice pal than a lover. Hmm, maybe more like a decent dog than a nice pal. Perhaps more like an apathetic exister that needs to be fed daily than a decent dog. :)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Vintage Jet: El Chupacabra in living room

El Chupacabra has a great deal of things in common with Jet, amazingly. Chief among them: the love of stretching out at our feet and begging for attention. This picture was taken about 10 months ago in my old apartment. Jet definitely didn't enjoy it there, as I had to crate him at times due to his piddling problems.

He has a big back yard now and is quite happy

I've created a new category for older pictures taken before the inception of this blog.

More to come.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Jet being silly never gets old

I never tire of Jet, in person or in blog form. I'd never admit it to him, but I'm afraid I love the little scamp. I acknowledge that Jet is a dog, and ultimately my possession; not my friend in the sense a human being can be, etc.

That being said, he's the best. We've been through plenty of adventures together. All his faults and flaws are obnoxious, but I suppose I'm only marginally close to perfect. Therefore I won't be TOO critical.

He's dead, Jim

Dead serious about not being combed! This is Jet as he FINALLY relaxed and allowed us to comb him. Little bugger.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Mi casa es woo casa

We've had this doghouse for a long time, probably close to 15 years or so! Jet isn't a vintage nut by any means, but he enjoys the house. He seems to like any place that's enclosed with one exit; perhaps it makes him feel more secure. In fact, many animals seem to like the same thing. Reptiles, rodents, insects and any other critters I've kept like a tight fit too.

I'm imagining a whole pack of Jets holed up in a big den dug out from under a tree. They'd all be completely clueless, I'm sure.

Let's make a sweater out of Jet

Out of his shed fur, of course! Filling this bucket with shed Jet fur took about 5 minutes of work. No matter how much I comb Jet, it's never enough. I use the comb you see in the background as well as the larger size FURminator. This is an amazing tool although it's extremely expensive. I bought it during better times, and definitely wouldn't buy it again because of the price.

One of these days I guess I'll wash the little guy. Pics of that to follow :).

Pig ear numnums

The number one way to Jet's heart is a delicious smoked pig ear. He'll bore of other treats fairly quickly, especially the milkbone type treats which I imagine taste like cardboard. I like giving him rawhide strips and bones as well, to keep his teeth and gums healthy.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Jet, stop making faces at the camera!

Despite warnings that his face will remain stuck this way forever, Jet insists on making faces at the camera.

He'll see.

Two-Eyed Kid On the Run

The law was hot on his trail, but the Two-Eyed Kid and the Two-Eyed Kid Gang weren't about to surrender. There was a terrific gunfight, ending with the Sheriff and his posse stinking in the dirt. The Two-Eyed Kid Gang escaped with 3 wagons full of Mexican gold. They are still at large.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Snape killed Dumbledore, Jet.

This is the exact moment Jet discovered that Snape, in fact, kills Dumbledore at the end of the 6th Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

Jet is a notorious Harry Potter fan, and was clearly stunned by the news. He's only begun book 4, but never turns an ear away from a spoiler.

Jeepers Creepers

A close up of Jet's famous eyes. I like the darker ring of blue at the edge of his blue iris. It also looks like he's wearing eyeliner.

Oh Jet, I suppose it's ok to be curious.
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