Saturday, May 1, 2010


things are weird so this is a test

Monday, February 1, 2010

The Jetpack

I'm SERIOUSLY tired of lugging all of Jet's crap around every time we go for a walk. Let me clear up any obviously forseeable confusion: not his excrement, but his accoutrement!

3 pairs of sunglasses, ten designer dog poop baggies (grocery or sandwich bags apparently aren't good enough to transport Jet's "gold" nuggets), his cell phone, any one of the Harry Potter books (depending on his mood. Good moods require the first couple of books, bad days = the last 2), and of course a liter of Fiji bottled water. Jet is one of those nuts who thinks that expensive items with fancy packaging and trendy reputations are inherently better. I fill the bottle with tap when he isn't looking, and he can't tell the difference. BIG SURPRISE.

So anyway, I decided it was high time Jet started carrying his own junk. The poor thing lacks opposable thumbs, so I got to brainstorming... I needed to invent a carrying device that didn't require hands. After much deliberation, I devised a cloth container that could be carried via two straps slung over the shoulders and under the armpits!

At first, I thought of calling this device a "backpack" but the name was far too bland. A friend suggested calling it a "JETPACK" and I dismissed the idea outright, then laughed for a few minutes straight. A short time after, it hit me! I should call it a "JETPACK!" Pure genius.

Here is Jet modeling his fancy new JETPACK. The second picture reveals Jet's Achille's heel: the chest scratch. It renders him completely immobile, a condition that I've termed "paralysis."

Man, I'm really good at making up words for things.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Lend me your ears!

If Jet had to pick a favorite snack, it would have to be the hearing flaps of the humble Sus domesticus. Here Jet can be observed munching on the ear of a sow. The ear felt more or less like a softer piece of rawhide, and it was clearly grilled for a time (had lines the way a steak/burger does!). It was also easily the biggest ear treat I'd ever seen; I guess the typical pig ear is harvested from smaller, less mature swine. He crunches through those things in like 5 minutes - it took about 10 or 15 to get through mama pig's ear.

Jet is clearly the apex predator of his habitat. He merely allows squirrels, birds, rats and a handful of Homo sapiens to travel his kingdom.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

You owe me twenny bucks.

Well, being one who LOVES to say "I told you so," here is clear visual evidence of Jet breaking his vow of vegetarianism via consumption of a turkey carcass. He checked to make sure no one was looking, and proceeded to chow down.

Moments like this are hard, because there are so many ways to rub this in his face. I thought about blackmail, but really, the only thing I need is to be right. This obvious example of predation was all I needed. Showing the world is the icing on the cake! Not gross cream cheese frosting, but the GOOD stuff made entirely of sugar.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

The beast wakes...

As we all know, on certain days Jet transforms when the sun sets. From mild mannered, self described "actor" to the vicious folk beast known as El Chupacabra. Pictured here is the white devil waking from a weeks-long slumber, stalking the hills overlooking Hollywood - ready to devour club girl, hipster, and coffee-bearing production assistant alike. El Chupacabra returns, no one is safe!
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